“Type or ego is simply our strategy for surviving on planet earth.”- Dr Deborah Ooten, School of Conscious Living, EEI Session I teachings
“Oysters make pearls as a defensive response to foreign objects. The process begins when some foreign body, such as sand, a parasite or some other organic material, manages to make its way inside the oyster’s shell and comes in contact with the mantle, a layer that protects the oyster’s internal organs, sometimes even damaging it.” – How and Why Oysters Make Pearls
My grandson (2 ½ years) recently pushed a child (2 years). We were at an early morning event in the park. It felt as though it came out of nowhere. Fortunately, we were with a very dear friend. The child pushed was her grandson. This, defensive response, was not at all provoked by the other child. She, my friend, chuckled and said he must be a type 8.
In the moment I immediately went to him and gently scolded him. Holding him close I asked him to give the other child a hug. He did and I could see that he knew the push was not a good thing. Our reactions were critical in the moment. And, again, I was so grateful to be with a good friend who also has a practice with present moment awareness.
Then, it happened again at his daycare.
I have witnessed my grandson comfort other children often. At the tender, all knowing age of 1 his response to an 11-year-old boy having a meltdown (a total stranger), was to hug him. He hugged him several times until this boy started to laugh. Really it was the 3rd hug where he decided to pour a little cold water on the young boy’s feet from his water bottle!
So, I asked myself, what foreign object created this defensive response. And, was it even a defensive response?
What I reminded myself of is that 80% of communication is body language. Only 20% is speech. And, I know him well. There are 3 things that irritate him. Being tired, hungry and/or a dirty diaper. In the park, he was tired, early morning Monday routine is usually down time with Gaga Lala (me). At daycare he was hungry, he didn’t eat that day because they served fish. Honestly, we missed it. For as much as I would like to believe I am a totally present being, in that moment, I was not. In the park, I missed the fact that he was tired. At the daycare they missed the fact that he was hungry.
But let’s not beat ourselves up! What is happening inside this baby oyster?
Is he a Type 8? He is big for his age, extremely strong, his speech is not completely developed and therefore he absolutely uses his body to communicate. I do see the beautiful strength of the Type 8, with that passionate and loving interior. And a very strong tie to the all-knowing and giving Type 2 heart. And, yes, he loves his alone time, give me that perfect Type 5 space for thoughtful reflection.
What to do Lala?
This beautiful luminous baby pearl shall be loved. Remain present!
I will help him hold this shiny ego loosely and work to stay present in love knowing that type or ego is simply our strategy for surviving on planet earth. I gotcha little guy. Gaga Lala has got you.
In Love Always,
Your child, ages 10 and over, can take a fun and interactive enneagram test on our website:
Listen to Cathryn Hudson talk more on the Enneagram and Children at the Enneagram Global Summit: https://shiftnetwork.infusionsoft.com/go/egs19ooten/ooten
Cathryn S. Hudson (Gaga Lala) works with the Conscious Living Center, The School of Conscious Living and Conscious Dynamics. She is a certified teacher in the narrative tradition of the Enneagram from the School of Conscious Living and holds a BS degree from the University of Cincinnati from the School of Design, Art, Architecture and Planning.