Unconditional Love

By Beth O'Hara - May 2009

Unconditional love is something we all desire and aspire to, and yet many of us have rarely or never experience it.  Have you ever felt completely loved for who you are without requirements of you to change? 
We all need unconditional love in our lives and especially children.  Because our own wounding, fears, and desires, we often want others in our lives to change to make us feel better.  Unconditional love means that we accept ourselves and others fully.   It can be tremendously difficult to always show up with unconditional love and to do so requires that we do inner work and learn to love ourselves.  Unconditional love doesn't mean that we allow behaviors that are harmful or intrusive.  Quite the contrary, it requires that we set loving boundaries with others and for ourselves.  Unconditional love doesn't mean that we are complacent or don't grow - it is seeing ourselves clearly without judgement and taking actions as needed to bring balance and well being to our lives and allowing others to take those actions for themselves.
Here are some ideas for allowing unconditional love in your family.
  1. Take time daily to listen compassionately to your children when they speak to you.  They can tell when you are and are not present to them.
  2. When they have chores or tasks, give them space to learn how to do it in a way that works for them.  Let them find their own way to do things.
  3. Take time daily to center yourself and replenish your energy.
  4. Set loving, consistent boundaries for your children around what does and does not work for you as a family.
  5. Regularly play with your children.  Find activities that everyone enjoys and fully engage with them.
  6. Show your children love through different ways - words, physical affection, and actions. 
  7. To show love through action you can learn what their favorite things are and surprise them with an inexpensive gift now and again.
  8. Learn what your blocks are to love and do your own inner work on these.
  9. No matter what, keep showing up.
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