Back to School

By Bonnie Brinkman - September 2016

In our household, back- to- school activities have already reduced the fun and relaxed time we spend together in the summer.   “Do it now” is popping up where  “we’ll do it tomorrow” used to reside.  There are now tighter schedules, anxiety about completing work tasks, difficulty getting enough rest each night, wondering if there’s enough food in the fridge for tomorrow’s lunches.  Summer left too soon, and so is the sweet, slow time I had with my beloved.

Many American families revolve around a two- career couple, often rearing children. Many moms and dads work 12- hour days, network, carpool, and only have time for an air kiss and checking in on the family schedule when they reconnect after a long day. The urgent often replaces the important, leaving us to live out a version of the exhausting, unfulfilling daily grind. Sadly, our most vital relationship is often the last on a long list of to-dos.

Expending such a high percentage of our energy in the daily grind can conflict with our true priorities, without even noticing.  A growing body of experts asserts that emotionally attuned couples have a profoundly positive effect on physical health, emotional stability, overall sense of well-being, and an atmosphere conducive to rearing emotionally healthy children. 

In a conscious relationship, partners seek to allocate their resources in a way that reflect their deepest values and priorities.  They seek to develop a balance of time for work and play, time to be together and time to be alone. Sometimes it requires a drastic change, a wrenching redirection of goals and plans: shorter hours, passing up promotions, living more frugally, or working part-time.  These courageous couples recognize that the intimacy and emotional safety between them is a priceless asset. They stay in dialogue about what needs to happen to achieve the right balance of work and relationship with each other.  They care about advancement of their life with each other, as well as work and kid advancement.

Nobody said developing the relationship we long for, while being involved in Life’s other pursuits, would be easy.  Let’s beg, borrow, or steal some time with that most significant person in our life right now, and name one thing we can do to get an “A” this semester in Us.  

comments powered by Disqus
Website design, development, and content tools from NetCrafters - Cincinnati, OH